Parenting a teenager is like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube in the dark. One minute, they’re your chatty sidekick; the next, you get a one-word answer and a closed door. Sound familiar?
If you’re reading this, you’re probably wrestling with that gut-wrenching question: “Is this normal teenage angst, or is it something more?” It’s a tough line to walk and easy to miss the subtle signs of help when you’re in the daily whirlwind of parenting. Typical behaviors like mood swings, trying out new fashion, and seeking independence are all part of normal teenage behavior and adolescent development.
The truth is, distinguishing between typical teenage drama and actual struggles that need extra teen support is really hard. During adolescent development, teens and parents butt heads as teens assert their independence, which is a normal part of growing up.
But it’s important to recognize the difference between normal teenage behavior and warning signs of deeper issues—especially when those behaviors become extreme, persistent, or interfere with daily life. Your once sweet child has turned into someone who speaks in grunts, treats their bedroom like a fortress, and views you as the enemy. But sometimes what looks like typical rebellious behavior is actually your teen’s way of saying they’re drowning.
This guide will walk you through 7 signs your troubled teenager might be struggling and need extra support. We’ll cover what to look for and what to do. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey, and recognizing these signs is already a big step towards helping your teen thrive.
1. They’ve Gone MIA (Emotionally and Socially)
Your teen used to hang out with friends or chat with the family after school, but now they spend most of their time alone in their room. They might dodge questions about their day with a vague “fine” or “whatever” and seem completely disengaged from family activities they once enjoyed. Creating a safe teen space—whether it’s a physical area or an emotionally supportive environment—can encourage open communication and help your teen feel comfortable expressing their emotions.
While needing space is totally normal for teenagers, persistent withdrawal can mean depression, anxiety, or bullying. Sometimes parents hope for more than monosyllabic grunts as a sign of engagement, so when your teen stops engaging with the world around them consistently, it’s worth paying attention.
What to do: Suggest a low-key activity you used to do together, like watching a movie or getting ice cream. The goal isn’t to have a deep conversation but to simply reconnect and show them you’re available when they’re ready to open up.
2. Their Mood Swings Are More Like Mood Whiplash
As teenagers start to experience new emotions and assert their independence, mood swings are normal. But extreme mood swings—big and inconsistent shifts in emotional states—may mean deeper issues.
We’re not talking about typical teenage moodiness here. This is more extreme—intense anger that comes out of nowhere, prolonged periods of sadness that last for weeks, irritability over small things or emotional reactions that feel out of proportion. These can be signs of an emotional health issue. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells, never knowing which version of your teen you’ll get.
Drastic mood swings can mean underlying mental health challenges that are too big for them to handle alone. When emotions feel out of control for your teenager, they often don’t have the tools to regulate them.
What to do: When they’re calm, try saying something like, “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed really upset lately. I’m here if you want to talk about it.” Timing is everything—approaching them during a storm will likely backfire.
3. School Is Suddenly a Four-Letter Word
A drop in grades, skipping classes, skipping school, or getting feedback from teachers about a lack of focus can be scary. Maybe they’ve lost interest in a subject they used to love, or homework has become a nightly battle that leaves everyone frustrated.
School performance is a clear indicator of a teen’s overall well-being. Changes in behavior at school, like skipping school or a sudden disinterest in activities, can be major red flags for everything from learning difficulties to emotional distress. Academic struggles rarely exist in isolation.
What to do: Approach the topic with curiosity, not accusation. “I saw your latest report card. How’s math going?” can open the door better than “Why are your grades slipping?” Remember, they’re already feeling bad about their performance. If you’re concerned, consider reaching out to a school counselor for extra support and guidance.
4. Their Sleep Habits Are All Over the Place: A Mental Health Perspective
They’re either sleeping all the time and still seem exhausted (hello, 2 PM wake-up calls on Saturday) or they’re struggling with insomnia and are up scrolling their phones at all hours. You might notice dark circles under their eyes or complaints about being tired despite spending half the day in bed.
Both sleeping too much and too little are classic symptoms of depression and anxiety. It can become a vicious cycle where poor sleep worsens their mood, and a bad mood makes it harder to get quality rest. Sleep disruption affects everything from academic performance to emotional regulation. Helping teens regulate sleep patterns by establishing consistent routines—like setting regular bedtimes and reducing screen time—can support healthier sleep habits.
What to do: Help them establish a simple, tech-free bedtime routine. Suggest charging their phone in the kitchen overnight to remove the temptation to scroll. Encourage listening to music or audiobooks at bedtime as a calming way to wind down and improve sleep quality. If they want to use screens in the evening, suggest activity-based video games earlier in the night as a healthier alternative to sedentary screen time. Small changes can make a big difference in sleep quality.
5. They’ve Lost Interest in Their Favorite Things
The guitar is gathering dust, the soccer cleats haven’t left the bag, and they have no interest in activities like playing video games, which they used to love. Activities that once lit them up now seem to hold zero appeal, and they might respond with indifference when you suggest doing something they previously enjoyed.
This loss of interest, known as anhedonia, is a primary symptom of depression. When a teen stops enjoying activities that once brought them joy, it’s a big warning sign that shouldn’t be ignored. The things that used to define their personality suddenly feel meaningless to them. Re-engaging in positive activities can help improve a troubled teen’s life and boost a teen’s self-esteem, supporting their emotional and mental well-being.
What to do: Gently encourage them to dip a toe back in without being pushy. “Your old coach texted me the other day asking about you. Remember that hilarious goal you scored last season?” Sometimes, a gentle reminder of positive memories can spark a glimmer of interest.
6. Their Friend Group Has Totally Changed (or Disappeared)
They’re suddenly hanging out with a completely new crowd and have dropped their old friends without explanation, or they’ve stopped seeing anyone at all. A sudden change in peer group can be a warning sign, especially if it happens suddenly and without a clear reason. You might notice they’re no longer getting texts from friends who used to be in touch with them all the time, or they’re being secretive about who they’re spending time with.
While friendships naturally evolve during adolescence, a sudden, drastic shift can mean they’re being influenced by negative peer pressure or isolating themselves from positive connections. Sometimes friends encourage negative behavior, so it’s important to monitor peer group influences for any red flags. Healthy relationships are crucial for teen development and mental health.
What to do: Invite their new (or old) friends over for pizza. It gives you a chance to get to know them in a relaxed environment. If they’ve isolated completely, gently encourage small social connections without overwhelming them. You can also suggest connecting your teen with other youth groups to help foster positive social connections and provide additional support.
7. They’re Engaging in Risky Behavior or Substance Abuse
This can range from experimenting with alcohol or drugs to being reckless in other ways, like driving dangerously, getting into frequent fights, substance abuse, unsafe sex, violent behavior, self harm, self-harming, eating disorders, or showing signs of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. These are red flag behaviors and examples of negative behavior that go beyond typical teenage rebellion. You might find evidence of substance use or hear concerning reports from other parents or school officials.
Risky behavior is often a cry for help or a way for a teen to cope with intense emotional pain they don’t know how to process. Troubled teen behavior can be a sign of underlying mental health problems, and many troubled teens struggle with these issues. Teens may engage in these behaviors as a way to cope with emotional pain, and a troubled teen may need professional help. Sudden changes, extreme weight loss, and withdrawal from youth groups or girls’ clubs can also be warning signs of troubled teenagers.
What to do: This requires a direct but calm conversation. Focus on your concern for their safety, not punishment. “I’m worried about you, and I want to make sure you’re safe. Let’s talk about what’s going on.” Approach this with love, not judgment. Seek professional help for troubled teenagers if these red flag behaviors persist. Monitor your own health, own stress levels, and your emotional and physical needs as a parent, as supporting a troubled teen can be tough. Remember, teenagers start seeking independence, and some teenage rebellion is normal, but persistent negative behavior is a red flag. Supporting your teen now will help them transition more successfully into adult life.
Next Steps and Warning Signs
If you’re seeing your teen in these warning signs take a deep breath. Seeing one sign isn’t necessarily cause for panic, but a pattern is worth paying attention to. You’re already showing you care by being aware.
The first step is always to try talking to your teen with empathy and without judgment. Choose your moments carefully—car rides, walks, or other low-pressure environments often work better than formal sit-down conversations. Listen more than you talk and resist the urge to fix their problems.
Remember, seeking professional help for mental health problems in young people is a sign of strength, not failure. Sometimes the challenges our teenagers face are bigger than what family love alone can handle, and that’s completely normal. A school counselor can be a great resource for support, offering guidance and connecting you with additional services. You can also talk to therapists who specialize in adolescents or your family doctor for more help. For more information and guidelines, check out resources from health and human services agencies, which offer recommendations and support for families dealing with adolescent mental health issues.
You Got This, Parent
Parenting a troubled teenager is tough, but you’re already doing a great job by being proactive and informed. The fact that you’re here, reading about warning signs and looking for ways to help, shows your teen how much you care about their well-being.
Trust your instincts, be patient, and remember this phase won’t last forever. With the right support and understanding, you and your teen will get through this tough time stronger than before. You’re not just raising a teenager, you’re helping shape a future adult, and that’s some of the most important work anyone can do.
